(I just found this unpublished post. For what it's worth, I'll publish it now, two years later. Nothing has changed.)
I keep clicking when I should be sleeping. We are all feeling the same pain and sadness today. I should be sleeping, but I know my son in Israel is heading to a triple funeral. From the moment we heard about their abduction, every living Jew with any sense of connection to our People has had Eyal, Naftali and Gilad (Hashem Yikom Damam) on their minds. We prayed and recited Tehillim, we Facebooked, we had posters in our yards to raise our voices to heaven and to raise awareness among mankind.
I click on Israel National News, Jerusalem Post, Facebook...No matter how many minutes fly by, I'm still searching...For what? What detail is going to suffice? They will be buried together near Modi'in. There was a vigil in Tel Aviv of 100,000. There are more details...but the truth is, I am afraid to go to sleep. As a boy at summer camp said today while kids and counselors tried to deal with the pain, "Their families must feel proud knowing how we all became One while praying for their sons." Profound from a eleven year old. What a refined Neshama!
But how will we stay connected to "Our Boys"? The agony of thinking of their daily suffering is over. An emptiness seeps in. We will never replace you, Our Boys! But my revenge will be to continue to Love living as a Jew, Love living and learning in a vibrant Jewish community, ideally Israel. I will continue to do my best to introduce single Jews to each other and celebrate weddings with great joy. I will try to be of aid to ba'aley t'shuvah and Gerim, as I, too, needed that help 35 years ago. There is no end of what I can attempt to do in memory of Our Boys, ...but it is so hard to go to sleep. Hashem, we ask you to avenge their blood, but we also need your healing. Send all the power of our tears and prayers to help their families and friends heal.
Most of all, let our heightened sense of love and unity we are feeling for each other not falter so we will not need this test again.
